Tag Archives: illustration

This way is open

      I doubt you will ever read this.
(I have forged a weapon in your name)


I used to wake up in the morning and my flesh would begin to scream.

I used to rip bleeding chunks out of existence, to find my ghost and wash it clean.

I found you embedded in beating hearts, I watched you pierce through fever and light.

I ran to you so you could run me through.

Wound me.
Pray, give me sight


Stasis update

I held ice to the angry burn on her finger until she protested the pain.

Then begged me to apply it again.

She hurt herself making a morning meal
Honest to god

I didn’t know how to feel.
Eggs relish and steak, heart and pain on a plate.

My senses embraced,
I thought, surely, this must be fate.

Even though we ate freely
We both had reservations
Mouthfuls of courage
But bite-sized intentions

it was all or nothing and I chose starvation

I pick the scorn from my teeth
I try to forget my elation

My feelings are herbivores

In the summer we would meet sometimes


Play body lego
Amazing how the pieces always seem to fit.

It was never love
We didn’t care

I loved the way we clicked.

Clouded reign

You condemn me to hell

Why do I feel so cold?

The mask creeps over your face, the light in your eyes contorts.

You say my path is death

Is this why you haunt me?

I won’t bow to your god

As dim as it is,
I emit my own light

holding pattern

I won’t come to your arms

Maintain a distance of their length
I can’t move from where I stand

You can’t come to where I am

This place I built inside me
Won’t stop splitting at the seams

I hear the buzzing of all its violence
I feel it gnawing at my dreams

I guard the only exit
I bar the only way

I fill the space with nothing
Push you out
Into the day

Bury me

I don’t deserve a break

but I’m broken down

to within an inch of my resolve.

I see my desperation in disgust

My despair in dismay

I just want out,  I beg for reprieve

Just one day of peace

Just one moment of serene

But the salivating mess that crouches on my mind

knows no mercy

gives no quarter

bury me

in the fucking dirt

hide me

from life




The way life used to hurt.
The way every nuance of sensation was white-hot to the touch.
being a living, perpetual explosion

I cradle the memory in my arms,
Singing softly to the past.

Because now, it all evades me.
I’m reclined in a crook of the wavelength
Grasping at the belly of meaning.

I’d curse this numbness, if only I could remember the words.
I used to wish the pain away
Now I wish it hurt.